


I don’t know if I should apologize for this

by writerofbaddecisions



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, To Be Continued, To Be Edited, alright look, to be renamed okay, tw : death, tw : gore, we need chimney angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerofbaddecisions/pseuds/writerofbaddecisions
Summary: It wasn’t supposed to end like this……..DingDingDing
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Howie "Chimney" Han & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	1. climax

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This is my first-ever fic in this fandom , and just generally so yeah sry for mistakes and bad storylines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't kill me

It wasn’t supposed to end like this……..

  


_Ding_

  


_Ding_

  


_Ding_

  


_“County…….LAFD 118. Send out the final call for FireFighter-Paramedic Howard Han, Line of Duty Death.”_

  


\------------------------------------------------------

  


He survived a rebar through his skull and a stabbing. 

  


And he was going to die in a warehouse fire.

  


Guess he had used up all of his 9 lives.

  


The warehouse echoed and groaned, pieces of the wood landed every which way. The fire which had started from a squatter’s open flames had quickly escalated into a raging fire. Bobby had originally intended for him and Hen to stay outside to take care of the patients, but when the assumed dead started outnumber the living, he and hen were allowed inside. 

  


There they split up to look for patients when it happened, a huge gas explosion erupted and the stone roof caved. Chimney had been able to find a hiding place, but the damage was done. His exits were completely blocked by wood and stone, and the fire pounded on the doors. A pole had come straight down, straight through his lower chest. The irony was that had not for the roof, he would be dead before he could say goodbye. He grabbed his radio sluggishly screamed: MAYDAY! MAYDAY! FIREFIGHTER DOWN!

  


\-----------------------------------

  


Hen had managed to escape the explosion by only a second or two. When it was over , they realized chimney hadn’t gotten out. 

Buck turned to Hen “I thought you guys went in together?” 

  


Hen dusted off some concrete particles sitting on her shoulder , “ we separated.” 

  


A voice came over their radios 

  


“MAYDAY! MAYDAY! FIR-----EFIG---HTER ----- D-OWN”

  


_Chimney’s Voice_

  


A wave of panic went over the 118 , Athena who was at the scene , ran over to them “ Was that--”

  


Bobby nodded “It’s chimney’s” 

  


Buck looked at Bobby “ What do we do? “ 

  


Bobby did not answer Buck , instead spoke into his radio “Dispatch , are you still there?” 

  


Maddie’s panicked voice came over the radio “Yes , do not tell me that was chimney’s voice , i just heard-”

  


“Mad-die?”

  


\-------------

  


When Chimney heard Maddie’s voice, he started to panic a bit more than he already was . He had already deduced that the pole definitely punctured something important , and it was most likely his stomach or his ribcage. He grabbed his radio again and whispered “Mad-die?” into it .

  


Maddie quickly responded “Howie , are you good ? “ 

  


Chimney didn’t want to panic Maddie, considering she just found out that she was pregnant, but he knew if he survived that Maddie would have a stern lecture prepared from him. But, his heartbeat had already begun to slow down, and his mind had become fogged. He tried shifting to find a good position, but all it did was give him more pain.

  


“Maddie , _babe ,_ I need you to listen to me-”

  


“Howie, _no_ , you are not dying , you got a rebar through the skull and you’re still alive, we just gotta pray for a miracle-” she rambled, before she got cut off by Chimney’s coughing fit. 

“Howie? “ 

  


Once it subsided, chimney continued “ babe, I need you to please listen, you’re going to be a great mother, I’m sorry I can’t be there for the birth of any of their milestones. I love you and i don’t want you to feel guilty, I don’t want any of the firehouse to feel guilty, please don’t beat yourself over this, and I love you, and I’m sorry I can’t be there. I love you Maddie and never forget it, okay? Your my one true love, the only thing that I did right in my entire was my decision to date you okay? I love you forever, and I’m sorry,t I love you Mad----”

  


She responded, but chimney couldn’t hear her. The fire had finally through the wall of gravel and loomed over his head, it then swallowed him whole, the next thing that chimney saw was Kevin standing right next to him.

  


“Kevin?”

  


He smiled , “Hey Howie” 

  


Tears started to flow down chimney’s face “ I missed you so much” 

  


“I missed you too.”

  


They bear-hugged each other until their tears ran out, and their arms grew numb.

  



	2. death is a funny concept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW : For gruesome imagery 
> 
> TW : for slight mention of blood 
> 
> TW : for pain 
> 
> this might require tissues to read

“Howie, are you good?”

She held her breath, listening to the faint grunts and moans of pain, waiting for an answer. 

The 118 and Athena, gripped their radios in utter terror as Chimney was the only (alive) person left in the building 

There was a beat, then their hearts started to sink…

“Madd-ie ,  _ bab-e ,  _ I ne-ed yo-u t-o lis--ten to m--e-”

He didn’t think he was getting out of this alive , they couldn’t go in there because they didn’t want to risk someone else. The commander on site had threatened to suspend them right there and then , if they ran in. The commander made some police stand around the group , forcing them to stay still.

(they regretted it so much later)

\------------------------

Maddie immediately responded because  _ no, godamn it, he is not going to fucking die when they  _ **_just_ ** _ found out that they were pregnant _ : “Howie,  _ no _ , you are not dying, you got a rebar through the skull and you’re still alive, we just gotta pray for a miracle-” she rambled until Chimney started to cough over the radio, it was both wet and dry, and it created static in her ears, muffling the sounds of her mind whirring. When it started to subside, she hesitantly asked “Howie?” 

Static filled the channel , before chimney’s voice filled it in “babe, I need you to please listen, you’re going to be a great mot-her, I’m so-rry I can’t be t-here for the birth of a-ny of their mi-les-tones. I love you and i don’t want you t-o feel gu-ilty, I don’t wan-t any of the fire-hou-se to feel guil-ty, plea-se don’t beat y-ourself ov-er this, and I lov-e you, and I’m sorry I can’t be th-ere. I lo-ve you Madd-ie and never forget it, okay? Your my one true lov-e, the only thin-g that I did right in my entire was my de-cision to date yo-u okay? I love you f-orever, and I’m sor-ry, I love you Mad----”

Maddie had started to cry during the speech , the tears falling fast dripping onto the desk and the keyboard. The 118 and Athena , especially Hen and Buck had started to feel tears leak out of their eyes. They desperately wanted to go back into the building , to make sure that  _ the unborn baby would not live without their father. _ Buck just wanted  _ his sister to finally have a chance at a good life.  _ Hen wanted for  _ whatever god is watching over us , fuck you for trying to ruin Chimney’s life because godman it , he deserves better. _

The warehouse suddenly erupted in a flurry of flames , wooden planks landed still scalding on the responders feet. Maddie screamed “no.no.no.nO.NO” into the radio , not caring that everyone could hear her , but it was drowned out by the shattering of wood and the boom of fire. When the initial boom had subsided ,Bobby turned around the commander at the scene and said : “I don’t care about your rules , I am going back in there to get my firefighter out. “ 

The commander did not argue , and simply let the 118 race back into the now completely collapsed warehouse. As soon as Maddie heard the explosion , she had immediately raced out of the building. Sue had simply let the girl leave , because she knew that she wasn’t in the headspace to do her job. Athena simply stood there , as she watched her husband and extended family race back into the building.

Bobby led the 118 back into the building , carefully listening for the ringing of a pass alarm. If they weren’t looking for one of their members , a ton of echolocation jokes would have been made. Eddie , Buck , and Hen were all listening for the alarm , a sign that chimney would still be alive . Both Buck’s and Hen’s tears had dried into streaks on their faces , their eyes red-rimmed and puffy.

When they heard the  _ ring,ring,beep,ring.ring  _ , they raced to the sound , and as it grew louder and louder , their hopes became brighter and brighter ,until it all came crashing down. 

The room was completely smashed in , it being the source of the explosion , a large beam had collapsed . At the end of the beam , sat a helmet , and the alarm blaring out noises. A human body was attached at the end , blood dripping off of it.

  
  


It was Chimney’s 

Hen raced over to the alarm not caring about the splintered wood , or the little sparks that erupted every now and again. All she cared about was rescuing her friend and  _ soon-to-be dad.  _

The sight that she was met with was gruesome , the mask had protected his face , but the torso had suffered the most damage. The turnout coat was stained with blood , the pole had gone through his stomach piercing his kidney from the looks of it .He had hit his head so hard that a part of the skull had cracked open , and his legs were smashed by the wood that flew around during the explosion.

Her tears restarted as she kneeled next to the body of her friend , desperately searching for a pulse , anywhere she could , trying to tell herself  _ there’s a chance.  _ She didn’t notice that the rest of the firehouse had already reached there as well. Buck kneeled next to her , while Eddie and Bobby stood over chimney’s body. Hen felt everywhere, running completely on hysteria , her friend’s skin had gone pale like a ghost, his eyes were unfocused and blurry , like he had been crying during his final words. 

Nothing. Absolutely Nothing. His chest never rose. No Breathes , No Matter how shallow ,never came. There was too much blood everywhere 

That’s when the waterworks fell, because  _ he doesn't deserves this , no one deserves this.  _ Hen sobbed uncontrollably , the tears  _ splish , splashed  _ on the ground , puddles mixing in with the other fluids. Buck gently pulled her into his shoulder , which she did not push away instead burying her face into his coat. Buck’s tears were building up in his eyes , threatening to spill over. 

Bobby spoke into his radio : “ Captain Bobby Nash ,requesting OFI and RA units , as well as the coroner’s office.”

“Copy OFI and RA units being sent , the coroner’s office will be sent as well.”

For all a while , all they could hear was the sound of sobs and the  _ drip drip  _ of the tears.

\---------------------------------

Maddie had managed to get there right after the 118 had raced back into the building searching for chimney. She searched the crowd , scanning through the ambulances and trucks , until she found Athena. She raced over , smashing over a couple of unsuspecting firefighters , apologizing on the way. Athena noticed the barreling Maddie , and stopped her in her tracks. 

“Wo, Slow down , you might harm the baby.”

Maddie turned around to face Athena , her face was unreadable , “We were planning on telling you guys , we found out after your party.”

Athena softened “Maddie , how much did you hear?”

Maddie started crying her tear tracks becoming more and more visible “All of it.”

Athena reached out to hug the crying woman , who accepted it , the tears were filling in her eyes , and staining the shirt of her uniform. 

The radio came back to life after a while

“Captain Bobby Nash ,requesting OFI and RA units , as well as the coroner’s office.”

“Copy OFI and RA units being sent , the coroner’s office will be sent as well.”

Maddie had heard Bobby’s voice loud and clear , the radio was right next to her ear.  _ Wait , Why is the coroner's office being - unless- no no no nO No NONONONNO . _ She collapsed on the ground screaming and sobbing “NO! NO! NO!” Athena gently knelt down to the now completely distraught women , she had comforted many victims , but it felt wrong to comfort a member of her extended family. 

Chimney came out soon after.

\--------------------------------------

Once they had pulled Chimney out of the building , the first thing they had done was scream for the arriving RA unit. The paramedics raced over to the ragged group , the 118 setting down chimney down , letting them work. Hen’s hands were stained with blood , but she did not notice , instead intently focused on the paramedics now shocking her friend.

Maddie’s screams barely registering in their ears , as the paramedics pronounced him dead. 

Athena grabbed Maddie gently from her armpits carrying her over to the body , she flashed a badge at the paramedics who let her through. Maddie knelt down at Chimney’s side , brian flashing back to the last time they were in a position like this , he had been dying , and she was being kidnapped. She looked at his face , staring at the shadow of a stubble , she asked him to shave that morning , his eyes normally filled with life and laughter , now cold and lifeless. Maddie gently grabbed his cold , clammy hand , trying to remember what his warmth felt like. Hen sat down next to her , Maddie turned and said “We were going to be a family but now-” Hen repeated a motion done so much today and let the girl cry heavily into shoulder , Maddie kept repeating the same phrase : 

“We were going to be a family”

“ **We Were”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come yell at me about how sad this is on tumblr @ the same name here
> 
> Next chapter will come out about next week as I wrap up school for the year

**Author's Note:**

> im not spoiling anything
> 
> (someone is going to bitch-slapped)
> 
> (it's chimney's dad)
> 
> I'll add everyone else's perspective's when I'm done writing them


End file.
